As with most men’s clothing items, socks are deeply rooted in utility – they keep feet warm, dry, ease chafing, and look a whole lot better than a pair of hairy ankles bulging out from a pair of pants.While some might argue that it’s pretty hard to go wrong with socks, we say au contraire, mon frere (translation: not so fast, bro). Believe it or not, you can still take a wrong turn.
To prevent you from riding off the hosiery rails, here are a few basic rules to follow even in these “anything goes” times:
-- White athletic socks: to the gym, on the field, around your apartment, no problem. Anywhere else is a no-fly zone. They are only to be worn as office attire if you’re a NFL, PGA, NBA player, David Letterman or work outdoors.
--- Dress socks are, well, for dressing up – thus the name, guv’ner. Dress socks are thinner than athletic socks and usually made of finer materials so feet and ankles look trim when tucked inside a nice pair of dress shoes. Dress socks go to the office; athletic socks don’t.
-- Dress socks and casual (non-athletic) socks should always coordinate with the color of your pants to give the illusion of an unbroken line. The sock color doesn’t have to be an exact match but if you’re shopping for socks and can’t quite recall the colors of your pants, just go for darker, complementary shades.
-- Humorous socks or pink socks. Well, given our druthers, we’d just say no. However, if you feel you must wear them, know your audience, and know they’re probably laughing at your questionable taste.
Know also that they will tag you as a complete goofball when you wear the humorous/pink socks at the office, on a job interview, on a first date or meeting your defense attorney. The only places you might be able to pull them off without being greeted by a chorus of sniggers is at the yacht club, golf club or office Christmas party, long after everyone is thoroughly soaked. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.
